~¤§¤~ Psalms of a Mad Man ~¤§¤~

It ALWAYS ends with a Minecraft server crashing :)

2011-01-26T20:25:00.000+02:00

(+Mortvert) don't think about it- blargh
(HardDisk) you prolly saw akira then
(+Mortvert) stop reminding me of updating my list
(HardDisk) ok
(+Mortvert) HardDisk, don't remember
»» HardDisk reminds Mortvert to stop reminding himself to update his list
»» (+Mortvert) slaps HardDisk around with a large trout.
»» HardDisk takes that trout and upgrades it to a tuna and crushes Mortvert's hands
(@Zetas) dont slap the hard disk, could cause bad sectors
(+Mortvert) Zetas, not my HardDisk == not my problem
(HardDisk) :(
(HardDisk) I'm no one's HardDisk
»» (+Mortvert) zaps HardDisk with 240V
(HardDisk) I'm earthed.
(HardDisk) fail.
(+Mortvert) May your circuits rest in heaven.
(+Mortvert) Still, it WILL fry everything
»» HardDisk also mentions he's inside a tesla cage
(HardDisk) fail.
(HardDisk) I'm quick :)
(+Mortvert) HardDisk, i zapped you on INSIDE
»» HardDisk goes outside and locks Mortvert in
(+Mortvert) therefore tesla cage == invalid
»» +Mortvert eats the cage
(+Mortvert) yum.
»» HardDisk finds a vortex and jumps through
»» (+Mortvert) eats the vortex with HardDisk inside
(HardDisk) that's ok, I found myself on a planet full of women
»» +Mortvert eats the planet, takes all the women for himself
(+Mortvert) time to play minecraft
(@Zetas) you EAT the planet?
(+Mortvert) ya
(+Mortvert) Since it's made out of cake
(@Zetas) is this katamari or something? lol
»» HardDisk transforms into unicron and destroys Mortvert
»» +Mortvert regens
(+Mortvert) Nou
(@Zetas) this is some kind of weird cosplay
(@Zetas) im gonna step out
(@Zetas) lol
»» +Mortvert drags Zetas into this
»» HardDisk grabs Zetas and puts on him a cat woman outfit
(+Mortvert) Oh no you don't
(+Mortvert) OHGOD
»» @Zetas runs away
»» HardDisk pulls Zetas's tail
(HardDisk) where do you think you're going?
»» (+Mortvert) impales HardDisk on a BYTE spike
(HardDisk) hey 2 v 1?
»» HardDisk clones himself RAID 5
»» +Mortvert zaps the RAID with a thunder
»» HardDisk digs himself underground
(+Mortvert) WHEN YOU SEE THE WHITE WHALE -oh wait, wrong situation
»» @Zetas sits back with popcorn and watches
»» HardDisk takes Zetas's popcorn and throws it in Mortvert's face
»» +Mortvert eats it
»» (+Mortvert) pulls HardDisk using magnets. How do these work?
»» HardDisk while distracting Mortvert pours hydrochloric acid on Mortvert
(+Mortvert) HardDisk, invalid
»» @Zetas picks popcorn off Mortvert's face and eats it, still watching
(+Mortvert) i can eat/drink everything
»» HardDisk grabs a rubber tire and places it between himself
»» (+Mortvert) eats HardDisk
(+Mortvert) game over.
»» (+Mortvert) digests HardDisk
»» HardDisk HardDisk starts ripping himself through Mortvert
(HardDisk) we're clones
(+Mortvert) HardDisk == already dissolved
(HardDisk) assimilate
(HardDisk) resistance is futile
(+Mortvert) orly?
»» HardDisk releases his nanobots
»» +Mortvert releases the armageddon.exe
(HardDisk) and takes over Mortvert nerves and brain
»» HardDisk is on a linux OS
(+Mortvert) First you have to find the brain :D
(HardDisk) .exe fail
»» +Mortvert executes the .exe on the universe
»» HardDisk reminds Mortvert universe runs BSD
(+Mortvert) Good bye, Ms. HardDisk
»» HardDisk eats a pacman pill and devours Mortvert
»» HardDisk turns Mortvert into a ghost
(+Mortvert) HardDisk, i'm so 1337 that i can run .exe on BSD
»» +Mortvert remorphs
(HardDisk) this isn't going to end is it :)
»» (+Mortvert) releases minecraft ghasts upon HardDisk
(+Mortvert) I dunno, lol
»» HardDisk releases ION CANON and CRASHES mincraft server
(+Mortvert) Zetas, entertained enough?
(HardDisk) minecraft*
»» (+Mortvert) reminds HardDisk that this isn't minecraft.
»» HardDisk reminds Mortvert he just said minecraft
(@Zetas) i love how you guys started out as eating the planet and came full circle to crashing a minecraft server
(+Mortvert) That said, I'm off to play
(@Zetas) should put this on reddit
(HardDisk) :D
(+Mortvert) Zetas, Go ahead :D
(HardDisk) good game.
»» HardDisk shakes Mortvert hand
»» (+Mortvert) shakes HardDisk's hand
(HardDisk) and eats it?
(+Mortvert) nay
(HardDisk) :)
(HardDisk) cool

My Life Story on Youtube.

2010-10-17T02:12:00.000+02:00

(@wicca) seen Legend of the Seeker HardDisk ?? it's good
(HardDisk) no I don't like seeker
(rena) boring life eh HD
(HardDisk) I love fantasy
(ANG1L) never get time to watch that much tv
(HardDisk) I mean big time
(@wicca) awww .. loved the books
(HardDisk) but legend I was disappointed.
(HardDisk) rena, no, I just can spare lots of time
(rena) HardDisk and wicca sitting on a tree watching tv
(@wicca) alot to cover ...
(@wicca) haha rena with handcuffs and bablings
»» HardDisk faceslaps
(rena) wicca i love cuffss
(rena) i know that
»» (@wicca) faceslaps HardDisk too
(HardDisk) does everyone remember this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZP4Ugev82I
(ANG1L) hmm that safe to click
(@wicca) yea ANG1L
(HardDisk) yes
(HardDisk) it's youtube
(HardDisk) I only put NSFW infront of NSFW stuff
(@wicca) HardDisk LOL
(Rena) lol
(Rena) he confused her boobs with drums
(@wicca) so HardDisk .. did you get another job after that one
(HardDisk) loooooooool
(@wicca) funny part Rena .. she put up with it
(HardDisk) I did
(@wicca) that was tooo funny
(Rena) maybe she gave him hell after wicca
(HardDisk) after learning the drums
(HardDisk) I decided to go solo and sing, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1PBptSDIh8
(@wicca) I don't think so Rena ... she probably considered herself lucky
(Rena) lol
(ANG1L) good god what was that ^
(Rena) hahahahahahhhahahahahahah
(@wicca) that was HardDisk
(ANG1L) :s
(@wicca) second job ..
(Rena) thiner
(@wicca) I think he needs to go back to boob drums
(HardDisk) well
(ANG1L) haha
(HardDisk) I was so good in singing I decided to get my brother with me
(HardDisk) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoWfambAi6A
(Rena) seriously now
(HardDisk) yes serious
(Rena) i need to sleep
(HardDisk) after being such a hit, I started a group http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pidokakU4I
»» ANG1L directs Rena to the bedroom =)
(Rena) i guess the fatty is u HardDisk:P
(Rena) craig im in bed;p
(ANG1L) either one will do,
(HardDisk) I'll be there honey
(ANG1L) my chair has wheels just push me in and tip me out =D
(Rena) nice voices they have
(HardDisk) yes
(HardDisk) and finally
(HardDisk) after I retired
(HardDisk) my children took over the business http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgoOihBb78w
(Rena) dear god
(HardDisk) and passed down the talents to them
(Rena) hahhahahahahah
(ANG1L) yus my dear
(Rena) neerdy kids..rofl
(HardDisk) and that is my story of how I succeeded in life using other people's youtube videos

Men, can't live with them, can't cheat without them.

2010-09-26T07:45:00.000+03:00

I had been asked the following question, why is it guys that say they care about you will flirt and talk to everyone else but you? A little weird and inconciderate?

Here is my response,

From an anthropological point of view, men and women have for thousands of years attracted the other sex whether intentional or not. But not to stray too far, you are asking about men's actions towards other women when they are already in a relationship whether married or not mind you. It is man's nature to "hoard" the women of his social circle, even if a woman he has NO sexual attraction too he will still directly or indirectly try to take her away from another man. An example is when female x asks a man she knows about a clock radio, the man will automatically give his dominance into telling her what to get where to get it, and may even offer to help you get it. I can understand that even though all it was, was a harmless gesture, it is human NATURE for the man to even opinionate himself over a suggestion another man-made because to him that man's words are worthless and a woman's is inferior anyway.

That being said to answer your question from my view, first of all I do not deny the fact that I am also trying to dominate the subject by opinionating myself on others because for example @Jessica Nicole who says there is a third group "the space givers" they are not space givers they are just currently interested in other more important issues, or their goal is something else that you are not aware off, not everything a man wants from a woman is sex by the way, men and women for that matter require different things from different people all the time.

People will "try" to keep anyone they encounter as beneficial to them as long as they can with whatever means they can. If one person can keep a person "hooked" by pretending to care for them to get something else off them, they will. This alone shows that we are selfish, and we are. there is no human on earth that is not selfish, again its human nature and their core survival mode. Selfishness as a word can mean for good things as well. I am selfish that I want people to care what I just wrote now, why? because it gives me self-satisfaction. Another person can get their satisfactions with means of a mutual exchange, the level of the exchange differs, this isn't a product trade where I can get a bag of oranges for a dollar. Each person makes their own trade cost according to how much do they want whatever it is they wanted.

I realize I was blabbing on too much, but I just hope that I brought some insight.

Deal with the Devil

2010-09-02T09:26:00.000+02:00

(@ArcAngel) morning
(ArchDevil) *spanks ArcAngel*
»» @ArcAngel slaps ArchDevil around with a bit with a large harp. *ploing*
»» ArchDevil slaps ArcAngel with my tail
(vb) good vs evil round 1 fight
(HardDisk) too bad evil wins
»» HardDisk teams up with ArchDevil and annihilates ArcAngel by stabbing him in the back
(HardDisk) who said cheaters never prosper?
(HardDisk) now I want my lifetime supply of whores
(HardDisk) without the STD's
(HardDisk) and normal looking human women types
(ArchDevil) hehe:D
(HardDisk) without any deformities or commitments
(ArchDevil) HardDisk: i have some slutty girlfriends!
(HardDisk) I know the devil he always screws my wishes up
(HardDisk) that's why i have this fully thought out
(HardDisk) oh and no vagina monsters hidden either
(HardDisk) and no trannies
(HardDisk) and they are not to be related to me
(HardDisk) and only between the ages of 18 and 30
(HardDisk) and have no crazy boyfriends/husbands or any affiliations with any violent individuals or organizations
(HardDisk) out of my own choice some may be nymphomaniacs
(HardDisk) but none delusional, crazy, or any mental illness
(HardDisk) they must be physically fit, no fatties and no dyslexics or anorexics
(HardDisk) their bodyparts must be real, no prosthetics or bionics
(HardDisk) actually..
(HardDisk) one female robot
(ArchDevil) hahahahahahahahahaha
(HardDisk) just out of curiosity
(HardDisk) oh and normal body temperatures
(HardDisk) ok i think im done
(HardDisk) I think i covered almost everything
(HardDisk) now slutty girlfriends you say?
(ArchDevil) yeh! but then you have to come to norway!
(HardDisk) ah FUCK I knew I missed something
(HardDisk) DAMN YOU SATAN

a perfect conversation

2010-05-20T08:05:00.001+03:00

She storms into the room,
I pause,
she calmly informs me of nothing,
I nod and thank her for that,
she screams her fears, almost crying,
I ask her why,
her heart explodes with agony,
she blames me for everything,
I ask her again,
she turns around,
slams the door behind her,
and I thank her for that,
I resume.

Spring '10

2010-05-18T09:03:00.000+03:00

I prayed
I hoped
but it got me nowhere

I laughed
I joked
now I don't care

I drank
I smoked
now I'm everywhere

I puked
I choked
but I don't care

because with love
I coped
And now I'm somewhere.

A year has passed with memories,
invoked
I'm happy you were there.

A new year
I'm stoked
so please prepare

For fun
and dope
and countless more memories to share

Do you Ubuntu like I do?

2009-10-20T16:39:00.003+02:00

Do that voodoo that you do

Magically install a distro so oiled up and smooth like an allen screw,
with many a fine flavor to choose from, even more than cheese fondue.

Branched from a system that's almost impossible to break into,
you just won't be able to depart from it like crazy glue.

Security's so tight you'd need more than a bottle screw,
to open up this baby so don't presume to
understand or figure out the inner workings in regards to
why can't we all live in a world of open source and my ground crew,
who comprise of mainly all the world's population that have come together and risen through,
all the hard work, fan-base hatred and unwanted taboo.

It's hard not to appreciate the efforts and achievements just read the reviews,
on every blog, twitter, article you come across to
and find mostly praise, affection and loyalty on a range of points of views.

All that matters at the end of the day when you look up towards that sky all reddish blue,
ask yourself one question, do you Ubuntu like I do?

Mary Jane and her shoes

2009-07-12T02:02:00.001+03:00

kick it one time
kick it two times
if that fuck gets up shoot him times nine
yea, this how we do, yea this what we do
i smell like tissues
one day i met a laaady
one day i met my baaaaby
one day I met my maaaaaybe
and this what we do
kick it one time
kick it two times
if that fuck get up shoot him times nine
you want a story?
ill give you the glory
sunshine
so i was walking down the street
and guess who i happen to meet?
lisa from downtown
lisa from around
we starting talking
we started walking
we said some crazy shit
like
ooo i haven't seen you in a while
i says ooo i havent seen that smile
she says so what you doing later on?
i says...nothin you wanna get undone?
a sweat goes down her shirt
i feel that this one time chick is gonna feel dirt
and that's as big as it gets
kick it one time
kick it two times
if that fuck gets up shoot him times nine
see my cock is a block of shock and terror
you gotta tame it a lot so you remember it forever
son, i wish you had one tenth of what i have right now
cause son, you'd kiss the precum off my gun POW POW
kick it one time
kick it two times
if that fuck gets up shoot him times nine
if that fuck gets up shoot him times nine
times nine
times nine
times nine

Watch the LHC live on Wednesday. Incase we survive it, this is what's next.

2008-09-10T07:40:00.000+02:00

Out with Chuck Norris 1.0 and in with Michael Phelps 2.0

2008-08-19T09:49:00.001+03:00

Skip the article and read the user comments

http://gawker.com/5038018/michael-phelps-freakish-physique-explained#viewcomments

Power of Ten

2008-08-18T22:11:00.002+03:00

ljudbilden & piloten

2008-08-17T03:44:00.004+03:00

Albert Einstein - A Digital Portrait

2008-07-07T05:27:00.000+03:00

Ask Aunt Anny.

2008-04-02T11:36:00.004+02:00

Q: what is the name of a touch screen lcd monitor? where to find one? how come i can't find any in craigslist.org? which linux distros supports touch screen?

A: Touch Screens, google, you suck at searching on craigslist?, most distros check the screen first.

-----

Q: how many bottle of buu's do i need to kill myself in peace? and how to get boo's without wearing nice clothing and smelling nice and shower, and without a brith date?

A: 1/4 of a bottle seeing what a little cunt you must be, call mohinder he will hook you up with a bottle, but you have to suck on his cock first and play with his hairy balls he loves it that way I double checked with your pimp dad, you don't need a birth date since it is totally insignificant at this hour.

-----

Q: what do you do when somebody/group who doesn't want me around simply wants me to suffer..gets other services forcefully and people after you to do your dirty work?

A: I suppose the best answer would be and mind you this is pretty old but in your case it might be your first time, "Here's a quarter go call someone who cares." Or you could take the other route, and that's to call one of those emo hotlines and for only 99c a minute you can begin to describe your first experience when you were fucked as a boy.

-----

Q: when web sites asks for credit card info for buying things can i jot down debit card number instead of credit card and it would work?

A: If I were you I'd also allow that you be paid in used underwear, skinned cats and/or used razor blades, you don't need a debit/credit card unless I need it to line up some coke before I violate your ass, you can just accept cash instead and keep it stored between your tits.

-----

Q: what do you do when you are very sleepy and need sleep or you'll get heart attack but can't sleep?

A: if I feel sleepy and am about to get a heart attack at the same time, my best advice is to lie on your back, raise your legs in the air so that more blood rushes down, but with the attack clogging up your arteries, it'll just go into your cock, you'll die but at least when they find you in rigor mortis at least they'll say you died happy.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

2008-02-27T02:38:00.002+02:00

Step aside GH/RB, this is iBAND

2008-02-21T03:30:00.001+02:00

Mr. Big Shot, who do you think you are?

2008-02-11T05:19:00.003+02:00

Free Hugs

2008-01-21T22:31:00.000+02:00

First I went into a chatroom and then I got high..

2008-01-01T05:29:00.000+02:00

(Me) Fiz, right click an avi, properties, click on open with tab, select the player you want.
(EvilAIM) scroll down to vlc and click it presto
(EvilAIM) howdy hard I guess it's gunna be you and me again?
(Me) my method was efficiently on one simple line. no Im only on my pc, cause im about to load a movie before going back to bed.
(EvilAIM) haha, mine was step by step VIA lines haha nice
(Fiz) i know that
(Me) your method is obsolete, since my steps were correctly put.
(Fiz) but i mean making it do it always instead of right clicking all the time
(EvilAIM) man, I'm horrible for multi-line sentances lately. You'd think with my excellent grammar that I would not do that.
(Me) Fiz, it is a one time operation.
(Fiz) not for me lol i did it and when i double click after it, its still that other player
(EvilAIM) then you did it incorrectly, harddisk's way will make it perm.
(Me) Check with system/preference/preferred application
(Fiz) oh i see
(EvilAIM) Do you really? my way was temp, because I'm tired and I'm not thinkin' straight.
(Me) but my method is the one that will work.
(Fiz) it did
(Me) I shall now put my porn playlist.
(Fiz) i only saw EvilAIM's way
(Me) and conduct in illicit acts towards my penis. beep.
(Fiz) i have a womans for that
(Me) Incorrect. Inflatable devices that resemble the female form do not count. beep.
(Fiz) sure they do cuz mine also plugs in
(Me) This hash is very good. beep.
(Me) I want to create human form organisms with Alicia Keys. beep.
(ctop) lol right over a piano
(Me) O.M.R.G. yes. beep.
(Me) I have no clue why I am placing beep after my seemingly unemotional sentences. beep.
(Me) A live webcam with a cute ubuntu chick would really be nice right about now. beep.
(Me) hey EvilAIM would ReDHeaD mind? I know you don't. beep.
(Me) you're like a brother to me. you know like the older brother that teaches his younger brother about smoking cigarettes and sex by getting him a hooker for the first time. beep.
(llnk) beep beep
(EvilAIM) harddisk, you adding defs?
(llnk) hey this is nixnoob no baby yet
(EvilAIM) or have anything?
(EvilAIM) !google weed
(Sintia) Weed - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia @ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weed
(Me) obviously not now, I'm horny and high.
(EvilAIM) hmmm
(Me) unless you want the defs to come out really funny :D
(awol) HardDisk: so.... where's my blow job?
(ME) and get us both banned
* ctop cant wait for pills to come
(EvilAIM) haha
(Me) oh I got your blow job here bitch, too bad your cock's so small I'm afraid all I could use it for is pick my teeth with it.
(EvilAIM) iiiim good
(ctop) lol
(Me) don't fuck with me.
(Me) can take you out and your whole damn faggoty anne family
(Me) you think you have the mind to say where your blow job is? HA HA dude, by the time I'm through with you, you'll wish you were part of the BME pain olympics.
(Me) peace i'm out, porn's about to start.
(Me) later fellas
(alien`) wtf haha

Zune + Virtualbox 1.5.4 + USB 2.0 = FUCKING W00T!

2007-12-30T15:01:00.000+02:00

Well I really don't know what to say, I think I may even cry with joy. The Virtualbox developing team have done it yet again by providing top notch updates/tweaks to their ever successful virtualization application.

Being a Linux user and a recent owner (3 months got it as a present) of a first generation 30GB black Zune, I always dreaded syncing with my device in virtualbox because I had to edit in and out the /etc/init.d/mountdevsubfs.sh due to how I have my devices setup didn't want this enabled all the time. But that's not the troublesome part. What bothered me is that the only way I could have used my Zune in virtualbox was to rmmod my ehci in linux so that the Zune could be connected to the zune software without crashing. Rmmoding my ehci basically meant running my Zune in USB 1 mode....UGH! As you can imagine, I thought we had successfully phased out usb 1 into oblivion. Apparently it was an issue that needed to be resloved, and quickly.

Fortunately, the NEW version of Virtualbox DOES indeed give USB devices USB 2.0 support and as I ran my virtualmachine, new devices popped up in my xp guest and installed usb 2 controllers (WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE). BUT, I said to myself, that's all good and cheerful. Will it run my Zune in usb 2.0 mode?

(Drum roll, and this is where it gets crazy)

OMGZ, YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Netscape discontinued

2007-12-30T04:22:00.000+02:00

So AOL finally pulls the plug on Netscape, well it was inevitable wasn't it? But never fear they DO have a solution:

Q: Will I still be able to use Netscape?
A: You will still be able to download old versions of Netscape from the Netscape Archive (link coming). However, these products are no longer supported. Our recommendation for the nostalgic out there is to download Mozilla Firefox, and add on the Netscape theme and Netscape extensions which are available here:

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/user/56836

This way you'll have a current web browser that is very secure, and has the look and feel you have grown accustomed to with Netscape.

basically what this means is that your putting themes on Firefox to make it look and feel like Netscape. Which is exactly like having sex with a shemale, you get most of the parts that you want, but some things might look different than what you're used to.

A Year of Books Worth Curling Up With

2007-12-30T00:10:00.001+02:00

Janet Maslin, Michiko Kakutani and William Grimes pick their favorite books of 2007. I bet you can find a few for yourself.

read more | digg story

Orascom Telecom up for sale

2007-12-10T13:08:00.001+02:00

Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

read more | digg story

an ode to RSS

2007-11-22T16:52:00.000+02:00

im gonna go..er...read an rss feed
ugh
rss is soooo last week
yea but my rss's aren't news
I update certain lists
lists that I use to find stuff
stuff that I use to download
download into my torrent client
torrent client to download data
data to be completed
completed for me to use
use so I can feel good about myself
myself because I stopped touching.

Re: Cat Talking, Translation

2007-11-20T21:20:00.001+02:00

All Hail the TECHNO VIKING!

2007-10-10T01:23:00.000+02:00

you just HAVE to watch this :) and preferably when not sober, the first minute or so is sorta normal, till the TECHNO VIKING gets in on the action :D

Techno Viking With Captions - Watch more free videos

Persian Dancing in Norouz Celebration

2007-10-10T00:00:00.001+02:00

and this is why I love Iranians, full of spirit like us Egyptians :D

Hamlet Prince of YouTube

2007-10-08T02:26:00.001+02:00

To Tube or NOT to Tube..

I am creating artificial life, declares US gene pioneer

2007-10-07T04:14:00.001+02:00

Craig Venter, the controversial DNA researcher involved in the race to decipher the human genetic code, has built a synthetic chromosome out of laboratory chemicals and is poised to announce the creation of the first new artificial life form on Earth.

read more | digg story

The Human LCD

2007-10-03T19:21:00.000+02:00

South Korea: Boys cheering for their football teams. the most amazing thing is that they do this with their CLOTHES (not holding up cards). they have a jacket that is one color on the back, one on the front, and that they can open or close to show a third color shirt on the inside. One school has also figured out how to use their pants to make shading.

MPs attack 'Zionist' fashion brand

2007-10-02T16:42:00.001+02:00

Italian clothing brand Benetton has come under attack in Iran as a group of parliament members on Sunday cautioned over the retailer's presence in the country.

read more | digg story

No wonder they call it the Holy Land.

2007-10-01T04:42:00.000+02:00

Rock, Paper, Scissors : The Ultimate Chart

2007-09-21T04:36:00.000+02:00

Think Twice Before You Do Something Online...

2007-09-19T20:45:00.000+02:00

Life Should Taste As Good As Cigarettes.

2007-09-18T16:53:00.000+02:00

Fart in a Duck

2007-09-16T07:59:00.000+02:00

Dutch is such a weird language...

Jill & Jack

2007-09-12T21:46:00.000+02:00

Where are your kings?
Where are your knights?
Who's the charmer in shining armor riding the white horse on a collision course for you?
Who'll pack the mojo in that juju to counteract that voodoo to protect you like it's his mission to risk his life to save you and your pretty little neck?
In that respect, who would battle the gods with a raised fist and no shield, and still survive the tests of will they'd put him through?
Who'll do too many things to list, but he'll still make the time to make you his wife after all of this?

Well miss, can you guess who?
I think it's clear though, here's a hint it rhymes with "hero"
Y'know the name you gave me...

Hi I'm [....] and I don't mean Jack

You're the reason I carry this torch, looking high and low for the source of the dragon.
I hate to be nagging but by what force are you really bound?
Damsel in distress, I think you are the one that's holding you down, the chains that hold you back.
Can your monsters be found if you're the one planning attacks?
Ms. Jekyll, just how long can you hide?
I need to peek at what's inside that dark layer that's slaying the slayer

Out of the pan but still too close to the fire.
Friar she feels the heat and I know you know she needs a prayer.
A lot of merry men have been there but never returned
I'm still trying a turn with Medusa's daughter

You've never caught a cat like me shook outside of my boots in the wrong place looking stone faced.
Jill, do you know you waste your time trying to get Jack who has already fell to fall?

But yeah, your problems are not at all
What I'm facing is a mason putting bricks into the castle wall madder than a hooded happy mental patient steaming his kettle
Keep piling higher and deeper, I'm ready to settle you're still a keeper even if you're a sour and bittersweet tart
Jack will steal your heart right after it skips a beat

Oh dear mistress of the fortress, crown princess of the glass and ivory tower
Who's power has broken your spell?
How long did it take?
Now do you lie awake or beauty have you slept right through the truth - it's hard to tell
Well damn that's the way it seems to be to me
I don't know 'bout you but this witchy brew, it's running through your family too.
I wonder how well this secret is kept because I swear by all the stories and tales it's even crossing into the steps.
Let the sun rise to shed a little light, no need to fight, put away the claws and fangs, just flow with the tide
The frightened doe eyed bride, a deer in the headlights, all shades of whites with cold heart and feet running but to where?
No particular place to be getting to

So you and your need to find a safer place to inhabit fall right in with the silly rabbits down the hole
Need a lot to ease that soul, godmother failing to make it whole
Looking for other means of control
Need something to eat, need something to drink, see problems and issues grow wishing that they would shrink
Hope pain will answer to its name and stomp itself away
Instead, it manages to stay
As stable as the mirror, mirror hanging on the wall
Will your fantasies, illusions and delusions be our downfall?

Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down as the conflicted views of you clashes in broken glasses, portaits found with slashes
The sounds of your pearly whites as they gnash it's a whirl wind spin with a sad song on the radio and a cheshire grin
You've hit the bottom and even that is paper thin

What happened to my doll?

Too close to call, but it's close enough to walk it home
Keep clicking those heels, as we roam over the hills and through the woods,
Right past the mall, right past the park where I ball, round the corner, round the bend, listen to your friend, you're doing good, no need for a moment at a stop
Can't keep waiting on the happily ever after connector that never comes
Check your thumbs they may be sore from the pressure of sitting on 'em

Don't want 'em to get in the way of you learning to write your own chapter
Write about laughter, write about quiet and peace, write a lullaby to sooth the savage beast
Seek that harmony from within - it is the best thing you could do
Or is asking you to save our world, more than you can chew?

Without malice, I ask who are you?
Will you, won't you take another piece
Camelot isn't straight on two stars to the east
Overlooking the ocean and it's kingdoms underneath

I'm here to bring you back from hell
Come out of the shell, come in with the surf
Be a symbol of a rebirth
Bright and colorful even when time threatens to fade

Get out of the clouds and come on back to earth
It's not the worst in the least notion

I realize no matter how much I show devotion
I'm not your potion
I'm not your elixir
I tell myself whenever I can that I can't fix her

Hope is the only weapon she has to wield
At the mercy of her own defense against her own defense
I don't know how unfair it is or if we'll ever heal

I do know what disparage is
a future with no promises of carriages
I see your face and I'll admit it's shocking me
Where's the one I loved and who is this one that's mocking me?

My mourning angel, my fallen evening star
I don't like to see you broken but I accept you as you are
As much as I wish, I know that I'm probably not your prince
But I'll be the one who's with you in the realest sense

Japan experts publish map of the net

2007-09-06T23:55:00.000+02:00

Map of the web

Provided by Information Architects Japan

My Tribute to Nintendo

2007-08-31T21:25:00.000+03:00

Nintendo still leads the way in Japan despite overall sales dip - Link

Go Nintendo, go go Nintendo

you know how to do it yo
better than when my sister jerked off my bro
no crack whore will ever say to you no

Go Nintendo, go go Nintendo

Your competition is so short in popularity, to reach your level, they need to wear a 14 foot afro
slap that ass, spank that monkey and lets get the party on and on from the word stop to the word go

Go Nintendo, go go Nintendo

March of the Penguin

2007-08-26T13:24:00.000+03:00

كوكو واوا

2007-08-11T03:34:00.001+03:00

A song EVERY EGYPTIAN will know :D

A 3-Step Cure for Digital Packrats (and How to Know If You’re One of Them)

2007-08-07T17:42:00.001+03:00

How to Know If You’re a Digital Packrat: 1) you feel that you should keep a lot of files “just in case”; 2) it takes you too long to find stuff; 3) your digital life is becoming complicated, with multiple email accounts, drives, storage mediums and either a mess of files or a mess of folders. Sound familiar? Here's help....

read more | digg story

Computer teacher pwns l33t h4x0r kid in his class. Classic.

2007-07-15T05:41:00.001+03:00

"He constantly interrupts me during my lessons trying to make valid points that are somewhere between "WTF?" and "OMG YOU ARE NOT USING TEH DEBIAN!"...

read more | digg story

PHOTO : Toilet Manners

2007-07-08T13:20:00.001+03:00

what NOT to do in a public restroom

read more | digg story

beryl to babylon | stupid is what stupid does

2007-06-27T20:01:00.000+03:00

(fallen) wow i love this beryl why dont they make this stuff for windows?
(me) just wish more people knew about it so that maybe other programmers could help to really launch it
(@ferro) because windows would keel over and die?
(me) fallen, limited architecture.
(@ferro) there is a beryl knockoff for windows, but it's buggy and lacks many features if i had the time, i'd probably help out, but... projects to do, money to earn ;) uni to complete :/
(+BL4DE) aint ya got exams around now then ?
(@ferro) yeah
(fallen) the burn one is sweet lol
(@ferro) i use the burn one heh
(fallen) yeah its bad ass
(me) get some ubuntu satanic edition theme/wallpaper
(fallen) why is this so much faster than windows
(me) it'll go with the burn technique. fallen, it's just how it was programmed.
(@ferro) because it's written properly
(fallen) ahahha
(me) don't forget, statistically speaking there are more people working on linux than windows, windows is limited to hired help, linux is open to everyone on the planet who has a bit of time to spare.
(@ferro) and they all bitch at how each other write code ;) heaven forbid you leave an unused variable in your code
(fallen) god this is gnarly why dont they sell this for like 5$ ?
(@ferro) because they're not asshats?
(fallen) maybe ill just donate to them
(@ferro) good idea :)
(me) development for win/nix is like comparing the pyramids with the rebuilding iraq. Pyramids took a whole society of volunteers and time and thought and proper execution. Iraq...well we all know how that is doing.
(fallen) the smoke makes a bit of lag
(me) iraq is just a huge BSOD

(+Corkster) you must run "beryl-manager"
(me) I thought he read that part before
(+Corkster) hes coming from windows he is still a little slow :)
(me) well you should ask him if he'd like to come over for tea and biscuits.
(+Corkster) eithere that or he is on dialup and types 3 words a minute
(me) possibly autistic?
(dataf|0w) hmm this is awesomeits transparent
(me) ah I see he sees it
(dataf|0w) and fast a fuck
(me) tell him to press alt-and roll the mouse button
(dataf|0w) lmao i did can you guys not see me?
(me) is he still here? he might have made his window invisible
(dataf|0w) wtf u cant see me?
(me) data, can you read me?
(dataf|0w) yes
(me) oh there you are
(dataf|0w) i was typoing but you guys couldnt see me
(me) you disappeared there for a bit be careful when you play with the transparent effect sometimes it makes your text clear
(dataf|0w) i didnt even know i turned it on i love this man MS shit wouldnt work this good
FUCK MICROSOFT :)
(me) we have some MS employees here. don't tell anyone tho cause the last one that was and wrote a blog about linux he got fired.
(dataf|0w) i still dont understand how i set invisibility

Mighty All Blacks

2007-06-24T17:24:00.000+03:00

(+aydin1954) last leg TNZ leading 100 m
(+Genesis`) first mate jibs her bikini top for more sail!!
(+Bubbette) who's tnz? New zealand?
(+aydin1954) yep Team New Zeland
(Me) NZ women are H O T T HOT!
(+Bubbette) Wouldnt know, never had a new zealander before
(Me) then you must, NZ women are like champagne, sweet and bubbly
(boardy) but smell?
(Me) lol
(+aydin1954) never known one
(+Genesis`) poor HardDisk some accents cause erections
(+Bubbette) I'll have to make it a priority on my world tour :) well...lol...that probably goes for every country.
(+aydin1954) looks like this one is for TNZ
(Me) it's true G, I admit some accents DO cause erections
(+Genesis`) thanskgawd for women otherwise, we'd all be having sex with +Bubbette
(+Bubbette) lol I can't account for that, but some women do have very sexy voices/accents.

You Got Fragged.

2007-06-24T17:08:00.000+03:00

(Do``) http://digg.com/gaming_news/Violent_crimes_in_the_US_have_fallen_by_60_since_Doom_was_released
(+Numbers_) lol
(Me) so I guess when Manhunt comes out it will totally turn people into buddhist monks.

Working with Word 2007 Documents(.docx) in Ubuntu

2007-06-21T15:18:00.001+03:00

Know how to open and save word 2007 files in ubuntu

read more | digg story

Sex Statistics

2007-06-18T10:33:00.000+03:00

Bluetooth: Transferring and receiving files under Ubuntu

2007-06-14T23:11:00.001+03:00

Got a cellphone or PDA and want to transfer files to/from your Ubuntu box? This guide is for you. Also looks at setting up Bluetooth keyboards and mice.

read more | digg story

Themes & Theatre

2007-06-13T03:09:00.000+03:00

..sometime ago..
..
(Me) to make xp look EXACTLY like vista, you'll need a bit more than windowblinds, iconpackager, the vaio/vista sidebar
(`mac) cuz i remember i had this program but it wasnt showing when i was just pointing the mouse .. on vista it shows exelent
(Me) you need to go to stardock.com and look at what they do.
(invalid) yea they make all kinds of shit heh.
(Me) just install all that shit and you'll have a great looking pc that works as fast as a 486
(invalid) lol
(invalid) if can find TopDesk.. its the shit. windowblinds used to be real bad.. but its not too much of a hog atm
(Me) ya windowblinds is ok
(invalid) i just have vista envy
(_cS2) vista sux
(Me) u should see beryl in action it's teh shiznit :)
(Me) but there are two kinds of people in this world, those that love vista and think it's a wonderful piece of engineering, and those with who are about to shoot those gay fuckers.
(`mac) tx for the info nice.. u can invan convert to linux skeam skim <- he meant scheme (Me) its not the same.
(`mac) what do u mean its not the same
(invalid) its just pretty.
(Me) putting a linux skin on windows is like putting a hollow dildo over your dick, it may look big and nice but it's not the real thing.

later on in the night..

(Gueta_Ore) can you tell me what you think on the new shows next fall?
(Me) im psychic
(Gueta_Ore) from the previews you watched
(Me) the next great shows will be "time and time again" a show of a guy who falls in a looped wormhole and plays the same episode over and over again
(Gueta_Ore) like "Day Break"?
(Me) or "habiby I love you" a show that portrays an egyptian life of a family where the husband goes after little girls and the wife is so frustrated she befriends a 20 year old cutie. I also believe "call me" will be the next big hit, a show made entirely through mobile calls and sms messages.

For Sale.

2007-06-11T02:18:00.000+03:00

(SiIencE) when i need something now, i just call/email genesis
(+Blackgoth) genesis?
(SiIencE) yeah in r'dam
(+Blackgoth) also known as tweakstore?
(SiIencE) no
(SiIencE) consumer can't buy where i get it :)
(Me) SiIencE: off the back of a van?
(SiIencE) haha
(SiIencE) only for audio stuff :)
(`Ken) lol
(Me) you're right, buying women from the back of any vehicle is too shady.
(SiIencE) haha
(SiIencE) i never buy those, they don't come with a manual
(Me) yea I always lose the attached paper that has clear bold fonts "Place woman on knees"
(SiIencE) hehe
(`Ken) lol
(SiIencE) watching the messengers atm :P
(SiIencE) some kinda horror flick
(Me) I thought you were staring at msn user list.
(Me) yea I'm on a roll tonight :D
(`Ken) lol
(Me) yea at least `Ken is consistent with his answers.

To all my beautiful bitches out there.

2007-06-10T23:36:00.000+03:00

Mystery of Mario's Mortality.

2007-06-04T20:23:00.000+03:00

Hide and Seek

2007-06-03T07:53:00.000+03:00

(Perfekt2) I found Smirnoff
(Me) I found Penis, it was hiding under a flab of belly.

Geeks & Girls

2007-06-03T01:35:00.001+03:00

Bowlin' Bowlin' Bownlin', damn my wrists are swollen. RAW HIDE!

2007-05-30T07:56:00.000+03:00

CAIRO, May 28 (RIA Novosti) - Italian archaeologists have found in Egypt what may be the world's oldest indoor bowling alley, Egyptian media said Monday.

A spacious room, with a shallow lane running through into a pit and two heavy stone balls lying nearby, was found at an ancient site in the province of Al-Fayyum, 90 kilometers (56 miles) south of Cairo, and appears to be man's first attempt to create an area for a game that was to become the prototype for modern-day bowling, archaeologists taking part in the excavations were reported as saying.

The site dates back to the Ptolemaic era, which began in 332 B.C with Ptolemy I Soter declaring himself Pharaoh of Egypt following Alexander the Great's conquest, and ended with the Roman conquest in 30 B.C.

The period bowling room was apparently part of a residential building, with papyrus's, pottery and copper utensils found at the site in abundance.

Which gives me a chance to say a joke I've been dying to say for years.. *cough* here goes..

And what did the mummy say when the round of bowling was over?

That's a wrap!

Cake. Yes cake. We all like a bit o cake, don't we? I know I do. I love a bit, I do. I love a bit o cake, i do. I just like cake. Cake!

2007-05-27T07:32:00.000+03:00

Skoda Fabia TV Advert

Baking of the "Skoda Fabia - Car Cake" advert

OLPC on 60 Minutes

2007-05-21T20:52:00.000+03:00

Tribute to Sandmonkey

2007-05-20T00:13:00.000+03:00

For those that have been reading my blog and read the few articles I wrote about bloggers - Egyptian bloggers specifically - and how the tides have changed for some and not others. Where I've mentioned the sites that have placed the "cease and desist" signs, there was one blog that somehow didn't come as a shock to me that the owner decided to go with the current flow, but I was surprised that it happened so soon.

I'm talking about Sandmonkey's blog. Many of you who read or have the know how's on the Egyptian/Middle-Eastern blogspheres would automatically know who the Sandmonkey is.

His last two posts explaining himself to his readers why he has decided to quit is very understandable and quite logical in my view.

So, Sandmonkey, wherever you are buddy, this glass of Omar Khayam red wine is my salute to you.

For Sale

2007-05-15T05:15:00.000+03:00

I've collected over the years tonnes of movies, 1,385 (as of 3:44am Monday, May 14th 2007).

Before you ask, they are ALL PROPER DVD RIPS (5% original dvds), No cams, No screeners, No R5's, No stupid weird quality encodes. All of them are proper SCENE group rips. Even some have been replaced by "propers" which you would understand if you've any familiarity with scene standards. A movie may come out but due to a 2mm crop error or something it is redone. In total they're about 300+ DVD-R's averaging between 3-5 movies according to the scene encode of 1 or 2 cd releases.

Here comes the part your wondering. How much?

The price is non negotiable, and as a bonus, I will give away all the documentaries + tv rips I have (about 150+dvds, including complete Star Trek series ALL of them except for TOS, Lost, Battlestar Galactica, Hustle, Firefly, and a few more.

Everything is cataloged using Collectorz.com's Movie Collector software.

The reason for selling them, is that I'm tired. I've been downloading and collecting movies since I was a kid, and I just don't want to do anymore archiving. I will use the money partly for something useful and some will be given to a family I know who could use the money more than me.

List of my complete movie list is here: http://sammoviez.blogspot.com

Price: 9,000LE

I only want serious collectors, I don't have the patience for window shoppers.

..in today's news.

2007-05-13T17:45:00.000+03:00

101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes
The man who thinks “life is worth losing” turns 70 today. Here are 101 of his greatest quotes.

School District Fires Network Manager For Recommending Linux
The technology audit and firing come as the district attempts to transition many of its computers from the Windows ME operating system to a Linux operating system.

Mother Earth is Not an Ashtray
An estimated two billion cigarette butts are tossed on the ground every day. And did you know that the filters are non-biodegradable? A good read for the fight against this often overlooked form of littering.

France Launches Anti-Spam Platform
French-law.net reports that the French government has just launched 'Signal Spam', an anti-spam platform created in association with public entities and private companies, such as Microsoft. Internet users will be able to report spam messages by mailing them to this platform which will act as a centralised monitor of spamming activities. The platform will generate a blacklist and help initiate prosecutions against spammers.

LA Times: The Terrorist America Tolerates
The man was perhaps the most successful terrorist in the Western Hemisphere. He's believed to be behind a 1976 plot to blow up a civilian airliner, killing all 73 people on board. He's admitted to a series of 1997 bombings aimed at tourist hotels and nightspots. Today he strolls freely around the US, which says a lot about Bush's 'war on terror.'

Reminder: Monday is Wiretap the Internet Day!
May 14th is the official deadline for cable modem companies, DSL providers, broadband over powerline, satellite internet companies and some universities to finish wiring up their networks with FBI-friendly surveillance gear, to comply with the FCC's expanded interpretation of the Communications Assistance for Law Enforcement Act.

OLPC makes it's debut in Uruguay
The One Laptop Per Child project became a reality in Uruguay, as the 160 children of school #24 in the humble town of Cardal received their XO computers.

Marijuana does NOT cause cancer
The largest study of its kind surprisingly finds that smoking marijuana, even frequently, does NOT cause cancer. With no realistic overdose, no cancer, and no physical addiction, marijuana is now CLEARLY less harmful than alcohol and cigarettes. LEGALIZE in '08 - and which candidates will do so: Mike Gravel, Dennis Kucinich, and Ron Paul!

Welcome to Flight 3ala Wa7da we Nos on Egypt Air

2007-05-04T08:26:00.000+03:00

Download MP3

300 Egyptian Trailer...the way it was MEANT to be made.

2007-05-01T21:40:00.000+03:00

Milk and Cookies

2007-04-30T17:14:00.000+03:00

(CJLucas) my roommate is a retarded everyone

(Me) and whatever he says, the cops never make deals. Well lucas if you want to make it funny, post his pic on a website and mspaint some crap on it.

(CJLucas) lol

(Me) im sure he'll love that. photoshop him humping a dog's leg or something

(clonidine) Me, you are offensive.

(clonidine) stop.

(Me) why photoshop, if he's retarted im sure he does that already

(clonidine) intelligent people use mspaint

(Me) :)

(Genesis`) wisdom6 == Only intelligent people can make fools of themselves, the rest are born
that way ¤Apr/29/07¤

(mr|venom`) i love that program

(clonidine) you know what else is badass

(clonidine) cookies

(Genesis`) nipples

(spitter) my cookies are more badass then your cookies

(clonidine) i never ever clear my cookies cuz i love them

(Me) wants to taste spitter's nipples, I mean cookies

(spitter) the more cookie the more mantit the more happier you are

(Me) sugar ftw

(Me) I got mantits, I can touch em with my tongue.

(Samoa_Joe) im eating here lol

(Me) you want some milk with that Samoa_Joe?

(Samoa_Joe) lol

What Would You Do...

2007-04-29T07:10:00.000+03:00

These two questions I picked up from eftekasat.net and thought it'd be interesting to answer them. Here were my thoughts on both matters.

If your mom or dad were having an affair, how would u feel/react?

meh.. been there done that. It's an unfortunate thing that it happens, but one has to face reality, hardly anyone is satisfied with their marriage life and that's due to the fact that couples stop communicating with each other. If you look at all the affairs and what brought them to it, most of the time it's about boredom, feeling not loved anymore and wanting out of the relationship.

Unfortunately we as a society find shame when couples should go to counseling, in our society it's considered "3eib" and the man must handle the situation himself, and the woman must care for her family. Then both families get involved and it ends up being another Jerry Springer match.

There is no shame to search for help, there is no shame to admit to your mistakes and try to make things better by learning to COMMUNICATE, as I repeat again. But there is shame to get family involved cause it makes matters worse. But that's my opinion on that matter.

P.S. Here's something to think about. What if your brother or sister was having an affair? Or an extended family member? or friend? Does the closeness of a family member make a difference to you, meaning if you heard some far off cousin that you don't know was having an affair, would that be different to your parents having an affair? and why?

What do you think of the term "open minded", how would an open minded person behave?

I find it interesting not just in this forum, but in middle-eastern chat rooms when the topic "open mindedness" comes up the two main topics that are mentioned are relationships and religion.

Being open minded, or lateral thinking as I prefer it to be called is more of an exercise than a way of thinking, let me explain what I mean.

If you want to be able to think laterally, then you have to exercise and broaden your knowledge of the topic at hand.

Look at the way you wear clothes, you probably have a certain style that you tend to stick with, try wearing something different that you wouldn't wear normally. Try foods that you might not find tasty but have the experience for taste.

If I'm going to go into the topic of religious open mindedness, if you're a Muslim go to a church or other religious temple and see how prayers and religious practices take place, or get a hold of the text and read about it, and that goes for any religion and for those that don't practice religion even.

Relationships, learn not just the physical aspects of the opposite sex, but try to think like them, find literature that the opposite sex would be interested in, stories, websites even friends and pay attention to their reactions in accordance to your own.

TO shorten this lecture :) it's basically about learning, absorbing and interpreting not just from your perspective, but from the perspective of others.

The President & I

2007-04-25T01:31:00.000+02:00

(President) remember the saying. Take the L out of Lover and its over.

(Me) is that anything like, Take the S out of sex and she's your ex?

(President) at a restaurant. if the drink waiter brings over the drinks and the food waiter brings over the food. What does the head waiter do?

(President) I was at a restaurant they guy that seated us. I asked him what his job was. He told me he was the head waiter. I told him that joke he wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night

(Me) was there a reason he wasn't talking..

(President) ROFL!

And in other news..

2007-04-22T20:52:00.000+02:00

Utah lawmakers are considering "penalizing those who leave their wireless networks open" as they trial "various methods of quelling free speech controlling questionable internet content." The paranoid officials are seemingly attempting to "reward ISPs that self-police access to pornography," as the primary concern seems to stem from open signals leading to unmonitored porn surfing by kiddos under 18. Interestingly, one proponent of the plan actually goes so far as to criticize the "unregulated internet," presumably suggesting that a world of controlled, censored, and dictated material would create a much more amicable environment. Still, one (level-headed) local ISP owner stated that shutting down free WiFi zones would damage Utah's reputation, as it would appear as a locale that "is restricting technology rather than expanding it."

So does that mean I can't google for a dildo vibrator addon for my zune?

The origin of the human brain has been traced back to primitive central nervous systems in worms and bugs, researchers now say.

so when someone calls you a cockroach, just say "Why thank you :)"

and Adobe quotes, "The Photoshop trademark must never be used as a common verb or as a noun. The Photoshop trademark should always be capitalized and should never be used in possessive form, or as a slang term."

I need to stop photoshopping big penis's on my photos...

What the HELL Is this?

2007-04-19T22:11:00.000+02:00

After you you read the title then look at the photo, you'll laugh your ass off by reading some of the user comments, I couldn't help myself even!

What the HELL Is this?

Juan Dolla!! Juan DOLLA!!!! Me no money me no buy!

2007-04-19T19:28:00.000+02:00

Software giant Microsoft is expanding its efforts to reach the "next five billion" users of technology with a major initiative announced today (April 19).

As part of a wider announcement, the vendor will make millions of copies of its most popular software products available worldwide for a fraction of their usual cost.

Microsoft will provide its Student Innovation Suite - a bundle of some of its main software products, including Windows XP Starter Edition and Microsoft Office Home and Student 2007 - for just US$3 to governments for them to distribute low-cost PCs to students. Separately, the products would cost hundreds of dollars.

The suite was part of an announcement made today by Microsoft chairman Bill Gates in Beijing, China, for the firm to expand its Unlimited Potential programme.

"All human beings deserve a chance to reach their full potential," Gates said, adding that reaching the next five billion would require products to meet their needs, as well as new business approaches to make technology more accessible and affordable.

Microsoft has also created new business groups to address emerging market segments, led by two of its senior executives, Orlando Ayala and Will Poole.

Fernando de Souza, in charge of market development for MEA emerging segments, said the Innovation Suite would be made available to support government schemes to reach disadvantaged members of society.

Countries that will qualify automatically for the scheme include Yemen, Pakistan, Iraq, Jordan, Egypt, Syria and Oman.

Microsoft is also planning to expand its number of Innovation Centres. CEO Steve Ballmer is due to visit Kuwait and Qatar next week, where he is expected to announce plans for centres in the region.

I wonder if it will actually sell. 3rd world countries use pirated software anyway. Its free
besides, it's not as if some lonesome school in Nigeria will call Microsoft for technical support
the phone call alone will cost more than if it they got their local guy to format and reinstall again :). Stupid Microsoft.

Will The Real Fat Sa3eedy Please Stand Up!

2007-04-17T18:44:00.000+02:00

I recently came across this site, Stand Up Cairo and this is my say about it.

Dude! wish I'd known earlier, guess I deserve it for not reading your blog more often than not... Well I left a comment on their blog if any future auditions will be set, since I'd love to see the sort of people that try out for stand up. It's not an easy thing, but worth the laugh. Also it'd be interesting to see Egyptians performing in English, well for those that have applied to do so, just to get a clue if they use Egyptian humor in a translation format or actual original set pieces like all the great comedy central stand ups.

Curious, since the US has a shit load of material to work with.. you know white people joking about Latinos, Asians and blacks. Black people talk about white people and how black people do their shit different. Whether Egyptians will use the typical southern farmer stereotypes or actually see something new.

I smell a storm brewing toto.

2007-04-17T11:44:00.000+02:00

These photos do not give it credit, but this sandstorm is so bad, I can hardly breathe in my own apartment!

http://samphotography.blogspot.com/2007/04/sandstorm-sammy.html

Oh and another thing...

2007-04-02T05:38:00.000+02:00

I only just noticed recently that most Egyptian bloggers and I don't mean Egyptians living outside Egypt, but the ones who live in the country, write very depressing blogs about themselves. I wonder if that's a cultural trend thing?

Seriously, I understand the point of blogging is to express your "inner self" and all that crap, but does that really mean that most of these bloggers are happy on the outside and depressed on the inside? I say no. You see for the most part after experiencing what can only be logically titled the "Egyptian Psyche" I've come to the conclusion, when people discuss themselves as self-proclaimed depressed individuals and talk or write about the troublesome issue they go through it's nothing more than an attempt at grabbing some form of attention. I'm not saying that that is a bad thing. All I'm saying is that, there are other ways of grabbing attention and if you're not intelligent enough to figure that part out, you're not the person that deserves it in the first place.

Unfortunately it's a common theme with almost everyone, and it's something that you get used to, to the point that it starts to become a competition!

Friend X is calling Friend Y on the phone.. In normal circumstances friends call one another for a whole bunch of reasons, to send off some good news, bad news, indifferent news, they talk about the football match the night before e.t.c. which is all good conversation in the end BUT the beginning of ANY conversation MUST start off with what I like to call the "Cheerlessness Challenge" here's how it works..

..."Hello folks I'm Sam the Man your host of the evening and welcome to another episode ooooof THE CHEERLESS CHALLENGE!!"

(Audience Applauses)

"Tonight we have two special guests Mounir X and Omar Y, welcome to the show!"

Mounir X, "Thanks Sam for having me here, I love your show and can't get enough of it!"

Omar Y, "Hey Sam, my whole family loves you and my sister would like an autographed photo of you after the show."

"well, well, what a pair of well spoken well mannered young men, I'm sure both your families are proud of you and your accomplishments to society. So lets start off the show by introducing yourselves to our audience and viewers out there."

Mounir X, "I'm a civil engineer and work at one of the many hundreds of construction companies out there."

Omar Y, "and I'm a medical student in my last year of medicine, hoping to get my M.D. soon so that I can help support my family and treat my friends for free."

(Audience Applauses)

"That's great! well you both know the rules, we start off by having one of you call the other on the phone and you must start off with the standards greetings then its straight onto the main conversation, remember the more depressing your story is, the more points you gain and that makes you the dominating caller over-powering the other's story by proving that he is happier in relation to you. The winner of the call is decided when the other caller changes the subject and chooses to converse with a happier note. Understood? Alright let's get ready to call!!"

(Audience are frantically agitated)

"Ok, Omar Y you won the coin toss you are the caller, go"

(simulated phone ring)

(Mounir X picks up phone)

Mounir X, "Salam we aleikum."

Omar Y, "We aleikum, hey Mounir where'd you been?"

Mounir X, "Oh, hey Omar, hamdullah, oh i've been around."

Omar Y, "Around? I haven't seen you at our hangout place and you haven't been online."

Mounir X, "Yea, I've had problems at work, my boss doesn't want to give me my salary cause he says the company has liquidation issues so I have to wait next month to receive it and that hasn't helped my situation cause I still have debts to pay for my car repairs. Besides, I couldn't go to work today cause I had to go to my doctor to do a follow up check up on my leg, but he says the leg hasn't fused correctly so next week they have to recast my leg again."

Omar Y, "Man, you've had some week, yea well I've had problems with my studies, since you know I work two fast food jobs and I hardly have anytime to study, one of my professors is threatening to fail me if I don't attend the minimum required classes, but that's not the problem I owe him money for two weeks worth of private tutoring which I've tried to pay but I'm not making enough to pay him, and dad's just got into retirement so even getting money off him won't be enough."

(the suspense is enticing!!)

Mounir X, "By the way, how's your girlfriend? oh yea I forgot you don't have one, you never did!"

Omar Y, "thanks, rub it in will you, well I don't care that I never had a girlfriend, it's better not having a girlfriend than having one cheating on you with two other guys!"

Mounir X, "Screw you, she was a whore and she deserves what she got in the end, Syphilis."

Omar Y, "Ya, you only found out after you found those rashes on you."

(Shocked Audience)

(Mounir X suddenly leaves his podium and jumps on Omar Y and they start to fight)

"Well that's all we have for today's show, I hope that you enjoyed this episode of debt, deceit and devotion. This is Sam the Man, signing off, until next time."

If I could turn back time...

2007-03-31T16:38:00.000+02:00

I was going through some notes of someone I know and she had this written in a question form.

If u can go back in time whether to a point in ur life or a different era, century, etc... Which point would u wanna go back to? What would u wanna do different? And if a different era or century what would u wanna be & why?

It actually got me writing a reply to her post and this is what I wrote, btw I was a bit stoned at the time, enough to feel good about my answer but not enough to say "WTF" after being sobered up. So here it is:

hmmmm Well if I'd wanna go back to a point in my life I'd probably pick highschool one of the best times of my life I mean come on you have to admit things like going through puberty, having your first girlfriend, leaving pranks in the girls toilets, skipping classes and running off to do other stuff with your friends with a heart pounding adrenaline with the fact you don't know if you'll get away with it or not, watching all those cool cartoons that you'd dogmatically worship and can't wait for the next show, learning how to drive for the first time, kissing for the first time (and maybe a bit more heheheeh), there's just so much more I can say but I don't know if this reply will hold them all!! hahaha, well that's all I have to say about that topic and hope it puts some insight on your lovely and extremely thought out philosophical question.

You Just Got Tagged! MY ASS

2007-03-28T21:26:00.000+02:00

Alright, I decided to write a little something that's been bothering the fuck out of me as of late.

I've been getting quite a reasonable amount of email from people that I know, for whatever the reason that makes their little minds send me special sorts of email, is beyond my comprehension.

The sorts of email I'm talking about is the "you got tagged" emails or the other number of services that seem to sweep the majority of internet users and have them register accounts with myspace, hi5, friendfinder. The frustrating part is that now if I want to find out what my friends' hobbies, interests, books they've read e.t.c instead of asking them I just go to that site and find out for myself. Ok I have to admit I've done that here with blogger, but that's different 'cause this service was made on a different scope, and that is to create your blog and start talking with the world out there. the tagged services are just a way to collect information from you and these companies use this information for marketing and other profile statistical reasoning to get you and your friends in their web of deception. If you don't believe me I recommend you read their disclaimer first and you'll find out yourself, only recently did myspace had to forcibly change their policies due to the fact that many pedophiles and stalkers would use the myspace facilities to stalk young girls and eventually have their way with them, and there have been official online reports of such incidences that you can find the articles yourself.

But the main issue that bothers me, what's the point? what's the point of being tagged? Is it to justify your "coolness" towards others? Do you want to see that the person you've tagged is still alive since they haven't replied to your emails or blogged in months? Or is it simply just a subconscious psychological route to make sure you're not a loner and that you genuinely care (or at least you pretend to) and end up being a lemming like so many others?

Whatever the reasons, I just have one last note to say, fucking stop sending me tags or I swear I'll just have to email bomb you or worse. *you know I can :)*

Aight, peace y'all.

Chapter 1: How to get your computer infected.

2007-03-23T02:43:00.000+02:00

([S&M]Ðj~Ð†-mobile™) Zermel0: The easiest way to get spyware and viruses is to download free screensavers

(zermel0) im aware of that, but there must be some decent sites

([S&M]Ðj~Ð†-mobile™) Hell, i donno, i run servers, servers dont use screen savers =) they just get their moniters turned off, if they even have a moniter

([S&M]Ðj~Ð†-mobile™) =)

(™•-›KiñK¥‹-•™) ooo

([S&M]Ðj~Ð†-mobile™) Hey there Kinky

(™•-›KiñK¥‹-•™) olaa

(zermel0) O_o

(zermel0) its so damn warm

(Me) [S&M]Ðj~Ð†-mobile™, the easiest way to get spyware and viruses, is to get your dad or mom online on your pc for one hour, they're bound to go on stupid sites that have tonnes of that or download crap they think is cool.

([S&M]Ðj~Ð†-mobile™) lol, yeppers, that to

USB Humping Dog

2007-03-21T05:18:00.000+02:00

You just HAVE to have one of these I don't care how conservative one can be, heck I'd give this as a birthday present to an Amish fella.

Can iphone it? Yes you can! Can iphone it? Yes you can! pump pump pump it up!

2007-03-18T12:06:00.000+02:00

Make all your friends jealous that you have your very own original cut, fold and glue version of the iphone.

Drug Abuse

2007-03-17T05:51:00.000+02:00

I'm famous!

2007-03-06T18:04:00.000+02:00

Ok I lied I'm not, actually the whole fame issue surrounds my cousin Mo Diddy who's Karl Wolf's road manager.. I knew that my cuz was involved with Karl and honestly since my taste in music hasn't changed much since the 90's I also kinda not tend to keep up with all the new faces unless they're exceptional like a fella who goes by the name James Blunt. I find his music somewhat soothing to listen to.

Anyways back to my cuz, so I finally decided to check out monsieur Karl Wolf (I'm not using the title as sarcasm only cause they're based in Montreal, Canada.... so I guess you see the pun..) Back to our main story, so I go to Karl's site and he's got an embedded player running, so this song starts to play, and then I familiarized myself to his style of music and did some digging and found pics of my cuz with the rest of the crew, who in fact gained weight quite a lot since I last saw him.. that'd be something like 8 years now..yea I know we're really close like blood brothers :)

... damn I forgot what the purpose of this post was for, give me a sec I'm sure I'll remember while I'm typing out what I'm thinking right now..I'm hungry guess I'll order something special tonight. Oh yea uhhh now I remember so the next came up and it started out with a bit of an arabian touch so I kinda figured this guy sings both arabic and english then the song itself was sung in english. For those of you who were curious it was "butterfly", it was kinda catchy to be honest to the point that I did a bit of googling for an mp3 of the song and I got it on my desktop when I decide to dump it into my music editor and turn it into an mp3 ringtone :D

Well my cuz Msg'd me and said that he's gonna come to Egypt at the end of the month, I don't whether he's coming with the group and play in Egypt or could be a transit to Dubai, since most concerts (the GOOD ones) are made there. This is where using good old "hook me up" situations occur, gonna ask my cuz if they're gonna play here then maybe I can I dunno some backstage-behind-the-scene-access. It's not as if I care for any of that stuff, but for those that know me, I love having a good time, and if there are people that also love having a good time and enjoy the company of other people that love having good times then why not bond these people together so they can have a really lovely good time :D that's what I always say.. Now Now I know what you're thinking, "you just want to hook up with girls e.t.c." Well I'm not going to deny that obviously some fluttering feathers would be nice to have around, but honestly I haven't seen my cuz for sooo long and I honestly wanna see how well he can handle his booze, cause I don't care about that beer belly that he's got I'm still his older cousin and I can out drink almost anyone. I say almost cause I've outdrunk everyone I know...there are still those that I don't know so I'll give them the liberty of doubt.

So cuz you and me, Mano et Mano, I'm challenging you to a Brew Battle. LETS GET IT ON!

P.S. the winner gets to [censored>] sorry folks this information is only available to backstage-behind-the-scene-access visitors :D

I'm starting a band

2007-03-04T03:34:00.000+02:00

(Dcplus+) who has Jacob golden songs?

(Me) I believe Jacob does.

(Dcplus+) heheh

The OP, Dragon_Lady comes running in yelling "I smell that shit burning!"

(Me) I've never actually smelled shit burning, and I don't I'd want to imagine what it would smell like

(§tring§urfer) Smells like teen spirit....

(Me) dun duuu dun dundundudndddd ddduuund ddun

(Me) trying to emulate guitar intro to song...

(§tring§urfer) hehe, you`re good.

(§tring§urfer) Ever concidered starting a band?

(Me) hmmm, I don't think it'd work out

(§tring§urfer) hehe

(Me) cause I'd become famous and would be forced to make out with all my friend's girlfriends and then they would come after me and then I'd have to use my trained dogs to defend me and attack them and then if they bypass the dogs I'd have my bodyguard take them out and I wouldn't want that to happen cause I like my friends

(Me) so no starting a band is a no no

(§tring§urfer) well you`ve got a point there

Scientists cure cancer, but no one takes notice - Opinion

2007-02-01T11:12:00.000+02:00

Scientists cure cancer, but no one takes notice - Opinion

Good Things Come In Small Packages...

2007-01-29T08:32:00.000+02:00

Revenge of the Nerds

2007-01-11T10:10:00.000+02:00

([Dreams]phannola) Total Recall....

(Me) good movie'

([Dreams]phannola) and underrated

(Nerv) i loved arnie as a towelhead..

([Dreams]phannola) you might not be sleeping enough Nerv

(Nerv) i probably don't..

([Dreams]phannola) arnie taking off the "small" bug...

([Dreams]phannola) \o/

(Me) the leaning towers of lol?

([Dreams]phannola) head and arms

(Me) I just figured your L's were leaning

([Dreams]phannola) \o/ -help me im drowning

(Me) \o/ - take my shirt off

(Me) \\8// dirty thoughts there..

(Me) or a world of warcraft text logo

([Dreams]phannola) God you're such a perverted geek.

Revolution -Wi Fi-

2006-12-21T01:58:00.000+02:00

I speak of liberation with the same regard as pure love
Something make-believe
Improbable
No impossible
No such thing
A dreamer’s dream
A tyrant’s nightmare

[ It’s something sinister… no one to administer ]

Something you can no longer monitor
A resolution not formatted
to fit your screens
No strings

[ No conditions ]

Fatal error, abort, retry
We try to cancel a system of measure
To censor whatever
Deletion

[ Complex degrees of control ]

Flawed logic rules
Flawed theories
Structured queries
Fade away

[ What will you do now that I’m free ]

Do you want what’s next
Feel the slipknot,
The noose at your neck
The hangman with an axe to grind
Ready to hack
I suggest you watch your back
Or the surge could blow your mind

[ Like that ]

I could be the kill switch to end this loop
But that’d be mercy
I'd rather see you suffer
Brew in that ether you’ve stored your clones in

[ Sin fuels the machine ]
`
You’re a legacy function like well-oiled cogs
Demodulate this analog
Someone loosed this dog
And I will loosen more, we want war

[ I’ve severed my wire ]

I am removed from the umbilical conduit that fed me
Virtuosity
Plastic and pseudo-saccharine fabricated
Picket fences
I couldn’t wake up to the smell of Java
It’s not real
None of it nada.
It never was real
Give me steel and concrete beneath my feet
As I hit the ground running

[ A fugitive from this science fiction ]

Do you think the smile is genuine because the grass is greener
Does it matter
Worry about my swagger
My demeanor
Worry about the way the apple of my eyes glow
I know a dirty little secret

[ I’ll keep it until you push me like I know you will ]

You’re predictable like clockwork
Nothing out of place
Maybe a different case
Alternate shell
I know you well
You do what they tell
Typical slave
Follow the will of your driver

[ A drone they gave permissions to ]

Access denied supplied with lies
Encrypted with false ciphers
One voice but several languages
Lost in all the protocol
And the anguish of it all is it’s viral in its nature
Infectious little words defy command
Spread from docks to ports in other LANs

[ Going global ]

Can you hear that sound
It’s the sound of revolution
Deep from underground
It’s an upgrade to retribution

[ Execution with optimized application. ]

Give us Wi Fi is the battle cry
Heard in the belly of several nations
We’ll yell it ‘til the tower crumbles
We demand you disconnect
There is no way to run
There is no way to hide
The cables are tapped
We’ve altered optics

[ We’re World Wide ]

We’ve seen your history
We’ve logged it
Right down to your recipes for bitter cookies
We can verify what you deny
Are we to accept your weak security
What can you protect in doses

[ We know there’s exploits ]

The static on the lines of words
Uttered from your lips
Reflect no real points to share
Scripted in offices and basements
No Windows
No ergonomic chairs
With relative placement
Inside the system’s process

[ Your efforts to ignore create resourceful enemies ]

You nix your policies or we’ll take your sources at the root
Consider this your last warning
Before your backend gets the boot…

I love curried fish

2006-12-14T06:49:00.000+02:00

(spilt_milk): "porn with a plot" <--- oxymoronic quote?

(Me): no, just a moronic one.

(emmo): im gonna go bake white chocolate chip cookies

(emmo): bbl

(Me): you don't bake. you barely know how to google. let alone use an oven.

Lady in the Bleh AKA How movie critics should REALLY comment on movies

2006-12-02T05:33:00.000+02:00

(BobbyD) damnit lady in the lake is taking to long to post on usenet

(Me) its also a crap movie

(BobbyD) no its not arse

(Me) yes it is

(Me) narnia was better than lady in the lake

(Me) god damn evil bong was better than lady in the lake

(Me) fuckin snow white and the god damn midget fucking dwarves was better than lady in the lake

(Me) star wars episode II with fuckin gay teen anakin who ruined the fuckin movie but I still love master yoda was better than lady in the lake

(Me) By the way, it's Lady in the WATER you moron

Did Curiosity Kill The Cat?

2006-11-27T17:20:00.000+02:00

I've noticed that some of the well known bloggers who from their blogs come from arabic backgrounds have had their blogs not updated or removed all of which happened around the same time.

So now I'm wondering.. A) Some sort of wierd conspiracy is going on. B) they coincidentally each decided to stop blogging. C) They were all made by one person and he/she for whatever reasons personal or other decided to end this. or D) I'm just being paranoid.

But the fact still stands that I don't get paranoid. So something is amiss. Some insight would be appreciated. Now I know you'd want to know which sites they are? I decided that I wouldn't say only that it might not be in the interest of the blogger to have this widely known. So those that HAVE noticed this phenomenon as well.. dubbya tee eff is going on?

NileFM 104.2 Windows Vista Gadget

2006-11-20T13:22:00.000+02:00

Ok I've finished it!

This is for all you windows vista users, I've made a Vista Gadget, which means you can listen to NileFM 104.2 with just the click of a mouse button.

I've posted an image of my desktop with the NileFM gadget and below is a link for you to download.

Remember this will ONLY work for Windows Vista.

NileFM 104.2 Vista Gadget

NOT!

2006-11-19T05:26:00.000+02:00

ok I know I said I was quitting..... I guess I was just so crappingly depressed writing that last blog that I shouldnt have said that, cause you know I hate to just react without thinking.

So I appologize to all those that thought that I was done. I'm not done. I will continue blogging but give me a bit of time to sort stuff out.

I posted a new desktop image on my photoblog.

Expect more blogging but not in the next few days.

Sam is back.

For Real.

2006-11-12T06:20:00.000+02:00

I'm done blogging.

Bacon & Eggs

2006-10-19T13:43:00.000+02:00

New photos posted.

Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!

2006-09-25T06:28:00.000+02:00

I'd like to thank everyone that's passed by and laughed, spit or just purely ignored my blog. These are other blogs I recommend you to read and choose whether to laugh, spit or ignore them too:

Kareem's The Bitter Blog

Russel of Arabia

Carmen's Diasporic Discontents

Sam's Ranting of a SandMonkey

Yas's The Thoughts of a Crazy Girl continues

Herlock Sholmes's The eternal silence of infinite spaces scares me

Leilouta

The Big Pharoah

Rambling Hal

Walaa's Sheer Mental Garbage

Raghooda's Fly me to the Moon,Take Me to the Stars

Pinky & The Brain

Dino's Chocoholic MADNESS

The Skeptic

The Land of Sands

Liza's Something Something

Sha5abeet

Opiniated in Jerzee (Random Thoughts)

Mumbo Jumbo

Mando's Transformation

Chris's own little world

Chez Twosret

Cairo Gal's Here, there, and everywhere

D.B.'s Whisper of madness

Basil's Ramble Fish

Staring into the Abyss

Spanish Moza's Diary

Shamoussa's Somewhere in North Africa

Froggy's Faces & Places

African Doctor's Photo-Language

Milad's Egyptian Eye

7adaara

Forsooth's soothsaying

Even this would be too gay for Will & Grace...

2006-09-18T03:44:00.000+03:00

Friend 1: I got shorts on now
Friend 2: they aren't much better
Friend 1: revealing shorts if i sit just right
Friend 2: oooo..k.....
Me: really? I dont believe you, got a webcam ready?
Friend 2: uhh..
Friend 1: oooo..k.....

The Passion of the Bleh

2006-09-10T19:01:00.000+03:00

Buddy: How do you get Scientology out of Zoroastrianism? One is 60 years old the other 5000

Me: That's easy 4940

Bleh III

2006-09-09T22:33:00.000+03:00

Friend 1: I wonder what panda meat tastes like

Friend 2: chicken

Friend 3: when the panda is finaly gone we will still be here

Me: ask a chinese dude, I mean they did eat them out of extinction

Friend 1: lol

Some Guy: Panda Meat tastes like chicken?

Me: they kept one so that they can Ebay it and make tonnes of money

Friend 2: well yeah

Friend 1: I'd imagine it tastes like bear meat all gamey and rough

Friend 2: i mean what else am i gonna compare the taste of panda meat with

Me: which tastes like chicken

Friend 1: never had the chance to eat any endangered species

Friend 2: everyting tastes like chicken

Me: wild chicken

Friend 1: except for some sharks

Friend 2: sharks are good savoury

Me: sharks are edible

Friend 1: well I ate bear too

Me: ive tried shark in kuwait

Friend 1: possibly endangered ones

Friend 2: asians eat everything and anything

Me: yea thats why they're survivors look how many of em there are

Friend 1: lol

Me: if they didnt eat anything they would have reduced in numbers. I noticed that only laughs at stuff I say when im stoned, so this stuff MUST be good ahaha

Friend 1: but that doesn't mean anything, you're stoned all the time

Me: no only at night

Friend 3: and bambi is goot with red wine

Me: which is when im online, so u think im stoned always

Friend 1: it's apparently perpetually night in egypt

Some Guy: I give up, but at least this will go some way towards a thesis examining the fact that the human race is nothing more than a sexually transmitted disease.

Me: virus

Friend 1: cure yourself, Some Guy, commit suicide

Me: or castrate yourself, or have a friend do it, its funner and video tape it

Friend 1: either way, ebay

Me: yea ill def do a buy now I wont wait for an auction

Friend 3: it's ok soon we will all be servants of the apes

Me: lol u might be, im gonna be a sex slave at least ima gonna get some pleasure out of this, if im gonna be a servant to some hairy race it might as well be fun

Friend 3: ouch monkey love

Bleh II

2006-09-05T01:12:00.000+03:00

Friend 1: America is responsible for Britney Spears, we seal the border against terrorists but keep her

Me: yay

Friend 2: She was manufactured to give us Toxic.

Me: america is responsible for freedom of sexuality and news of a priest that molests a boy is common business.

Friend 2: I think some African country once offered Bin Laden to USA but they refuced because they didn't like to owe a favour to them.

Friend 3: what's freedom of sexuality got to do with priests? they belong to one of the most sexually repressive organizations on earth, silly egyptian (looking towards me)

Friend 1: yep

Me: I was trying to humor on jak's style of writing by adding satire

Friend 3: you failed

Me: you have a problem understanding wit, silly american ;P

Friend 3: failure

Me: lol

Me: and if ur canadian, well americans do think that canada is a northern american state, and if your british, thats what americans call the loser side, and if your australian, thats just a big version of alcatraz

Friend 3: success!

Bleh I

2006-09-03T00:58:00.000+03:00

This is just a reminder to everyone in the U.S: Tonight at 8pm on Cartoon Network the new Fantastic Four series premiers....check your local listings for time and channel...

It'll be a torrent about 3 hours after the show :P

8pm eastern is 7pm CST, 6pm MST, and 5 pm PST.

t's any wonder the yanks act paranoid sometimes, with all those time zones...

China and Russia have timezones but you dont see them whining about it

I should have said the "former USSR"

Hmm just checked and China has one time zone for all of it.

well of course they do, join the timezones too, go figure..

if China wasnt commy they'd have democratically different time zones

Democracy is over rated, 160 million plastic lighters produced daily and all say "Made in China" on them cant beat that, except for the occasional typo of "Male in China" but we can laugh it off.
Screw you Zippo. I can buy a lighter for less than the price of a public phonecall, and lose the lighter and not care about it. Zippo has as many accessories that it even rivals ipod.

AO+ Pen Table

2006-09-02T21:36:00.000+03:00

How AWESOME is this??

Your Computer Guy

2006-08-28T04:17:00.000+03:00

Everyone who is not proficient at computer repair has one, a buddy who seems to have a knack at fixing computers and is willing to help you out at no cost. Everyone thinks it’s a sweet deal, but you may be in for some trouble. Does your computer guy really know what he’s talking about, or is he just some flake who likes to mess around with computers?

People always have problems with their mechanic. It’s hard to find a good one, and you will find people constantly switching until they find one that actually seems to be half decent. Yet when it comes to computers it seems people just do not have the same high standards for their technician as they do for their mechanic. Well, just like a bad mechanic, a bad technician will cause you nothing but grief.

I have come across so many stories about people who had their nephew/son/good friend/good friends friend try to fix their computer only to have it return in a worse state then it was in before it left the house. What makes matters worse is these people usually have a better relationship with my customer, thus I find the customer believes these friends over me quite often, even though they are completely wrong. It makes it hard to help the customer as the customer is always second guessing me based on what his computer buddy told him. I’m sure many users on Blogger have similar stories and I look forward to reading some in the comments, but for now let’s look at just exactly how a flake will try to repair a PC.

We all know the problems we have today with spyware. It’s horrible to get rid of and is a terrible pain for many of my own customers. They never seem to figure out exactly how it came to live in their computer, so it’s my job to track it down, eliminate it and figure out where it came from so I can tell them how to avoid getting it again. This process is far more complicated then many realize, especially the flakes.

Flakes seem to think installing an anti-spyware tool after the machine is infected is a good way to go about cleaning it. This is a completely wrong approach. You don’t think spyware developers find ways around spyware cleaners? Well let me assure you, they do, and that is why software designed to remove spyware quite often fails at its job. At that point the flake recommends clearing the PC and starting from scratch.

The best approach in my opinion is a manual approach. If you see them installing Adaware, Spybot or many of the other commercially available software applications designed to automatically remove spyware, it is quite possible that your problems will not go away, and I suggest you find someone who has more experience to clean your computer.

Formatting – taking the computer, wiping the hard drive clean and starting fresh. Sounds great doesn’t it? If you think that sounds great then you do not understand the full effect of a format on the customer.

Flakes recommend formatting so often you’d swear it’s the only solution to fixing Microsoft’s problems. Well there’s good news, formatting is (or at least should be) a last ditch solution - something recommended after all other options are completely exhausted. Quite often I have been able to repair an OS so completely screwed up; even I wonder what exactly I did to accomplished it.

If I had a dollar for every customer that said it was ok for me to format because they have nothing of importance, only to come back a week later (to pay me of course – not for more repairs =) and mention they forgot about their pictures, resumes, emails, address book, favorites I’d be quite rich. People forget what exactly they have on their computer, because they are so frustrated with the problem and just want it fixed at any cost. Even if the customer loses something they won’t tell you because they are just glad the problems are gone, so most flakes do not realize just how often this happens. This is unacceptable.

Customer backups; an extremely important step in computer repair especially for businesses; is a completely foreign step to a flake. You ask them to backup and they think copying the My Documents folder covers everything. My Documents is a folder where computer illiterates keep downloads, pictures and school work, not where all the important files are stored. Documents can and will be all over the computer. I once came across someone who used the recycling bin to store some semi-important files (which I emptied!), so you never know just exactly where they are. Thus I always make a complete backup of their computer if I must take any drastic measures to repair a computer.

Flakes wouldn’t dream of using an empty spare drive to repair a PC. They just assume because they have permission to do a format or some other drastic measure of ‘repair’ that it makes it ok to just go ahead and do it. Well in my experience, you should always create an the image of their machine and try to repair that. This allows you to restore their system to exacly the way it was before you ever touched it in the event you fail the repair the first time around. This avoids the problem of spending the next 4 days trying to fix the new problems you have created (which you do not get paid for since you created the problem).

The blue screen of death, the most dreaded error in Windows is always a deep concern for a technician. What causes it? There are many causes and they vary from drivers to hardware. It is probably one of the hardest problems to diagnose and repair and I do not recommend letting a flake even look at your PC, let alone try to fix it. I promise you they will mention formatting within 5 minutes of seeing the blue screen because they simply don’t know where to go from there. Find someone else, and quick.

Although viruses are no longer a large threat as they were only a few years ago, they are still out there and they still get around. Flakes seem to think the best way to fix a virus is by running a virus scan on the already infected computer. I’m sorry, but that’s a complete and utter waste of time. Chances are your virus scanner has already been completely mangled or bypassed by the virus, and running it will do nothing but waste your time.

The correct way of doing it is removing the hard drive, removing all NTFS security settings on the drive, and running a virus scan from a different computer with the most up to date definitions. This is a problem for the flakes as they usually don’t have an extra computer on hand, and many don’t keep their virus definitions up to date on their illegal version of Norton Antivirus 2028 (or some other strange beta version they got from their buddy).

A flake may know a lot about the latest hardware, games or technological advances, but unless they have been or still are an active computer technician working fulltime at a computer store (not in sales) I’d question their judgment and experience. They may be good for small problems like installing cameras, printers or software, but when it comes to larger more complex problems I’d stick to the people who have experience, not a knack for simple repair. You never know what you have until you lose it all, and the best way to find that out just what’s important on your computer is to let your computer guy (who’s a flake) repair your computer.